Most Bullies Never Grow Up...They Just Grow Older...Let's Take the Power Back!!!

"If you stand up to a bully, they always back down." I'm sure we've all at least heard this lesson being taught to someone else. Is it true though? As a child, can you really stand up to a bully and expect them to just run away with their tails between their legs? Personally, the only bullies I ever dealt with when I was young were my siblings and they never backed down (although we all grew up to be pretty decent friends)!

Also, on tv shows/in movies, whenever a parent tries to teach a child the aforementioned "lesson", the child almost inevitably ends up with their head in a toilet or naked on a flag pole. So, when does this lesson apply? With adults, truly.

It is amazing how most adults are all talk and no action. (Now note, I said MOST. There are some crazy people out there but with only a slightly trained eye, you can usually spot them a mile away.)

As an adult, I've noticed that when you stand up to people who give you attitudes, you almost always get one of two responses:
1) They back down and are suddenly passive and submissive to you or
2) you end up in a shouting match with them as they threaten to do something you know they would probably never do.

I've noticed that most people are too afraid that either:
a) the person they are arguing with is crazy and will actually hurt or kill them or
b) if they actually follow through with the threats they are putting forth, they will go to jail.

No sane person wants that! (Which is why we all must learn to spot the crazies!) I've known several people in my life that have acted as if they were the toughest person around. "Nobody messes with ____!" But stand up to any one of those people, and they back down faster than you can even call them on their crap.

My lesson for today Folks is, "Study People. Watch them. Know when to stand up for yourself and when it's better for you to back down."

For example, the other day, I was out to the movies with the females in the fam. We were running late to see "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" (a must-see for all fans of Matthew McConaughey). Now, let me set up the scenario for you.

It was the second night that Star Trek was in theaters. There was a super long line to see that movie. Being that we were running late to see our movie, which had no line, we were trying to forgo the Trekkie line (although there's nothing wrong with being a Trekkie) so that we could see our not-quite-as-popular movie.

This man (in his 40s/50s) sees us a group of women trying to get in the theater and he says, in his most booming, authoritative voice possible, "There's a line here!" And I look up and say, "Yeah, we know. We're not here to see Star Trek!" (Now, there was no yelling going on. Just attitude.)

I guess he expected me to cower and run behind him. He kept trying to stare me down but I kept my gaze locked on him, challenging him. My eyes said, "If you have something to say, go for it. I'm not backing down." Scared him right off. He didn't say another word.

My niece said, "Look at Titi. Staring at the man." I said, "Yeah, [Girl]. What did he think? That he was going to scare us into submission?" Gone are those dark days. A sternly worded talking to from a strange man has no affect. (Now, I could go on into a whole discussion on what we, as women used to be taught in America [submit to men] vs. what we're taught now [stand up for your rights] but let's save that discussion for another time.) For now, let's just focus on the topic at hand.

As adults, bullies are just overgrown children. They think that by yelling, stomping and having adult temper tantrums, they can get what they want. Don't enable them. Stand up for yourself. As long as the person you're trying to stand up to isn't crazy, (as an adult) "If you stand up to a bully, they nearly always back down."